I would like to ask whether you ever had this feeling you took all wrong decisions in your life. You do your stuff every day and you keep thinking about how many other things you could do, how much time you do NOT have to do what you enjoy, how many other people you could meet, in which other place you could be. You start dreaming and dreaming, and then you stop thinking about the relative safety your job and daily life gives you, and then you start again. Many job seems better than yours, many places seems better to leave than when you are.
You forget about all the risks of something new, you don't think about the difficulties of an adventure, you just keep dreaming, dreaming, dreaming.
Today I found myself starring at the computer thinking about hollywood stars coming to my tiny dark shop where I would sell self-made crazily expensive necklaces. They would be willing to pay a crazy price just for the sake of having my necklace design, no matter how much gold, platin, or diamonds are in it. Well, Tiffany probably started like that. And in that moment my boss entered the office asking "Oh, are you reading the customer's email?".
Sometimes I picture how the life of a writer would be. Pressed and stressed by the need of inspiration, of constant rewriting, perfectioning, the style and the content of the written words. But maybe in a nice cafe in a sunny cute place with a lot of hot milk and chocolate powder, while some gentle breeze avoid you getting too warm and sticking to your paper (or lap top). That reminds me that I don't see the sun since like 10 days. I get out from hom that it is dark, and exit the office that it's dark, and in lunch break it rains. I don't know how people living at the poles can bear months without sunlight. It's making me crazy.
And there I come again: am I actually doing what I want? Did I actually take the right choices? Why did I decide for some way or the other? It was probably the most logical, safe, "best" thing to do. Is it also what I actually want? Or all this will just go against my real way and it's crashing me?
I feel so ... Westerner when I write this. Would a Chinese also at all care about this questions? And what would be his or her answers?
You forget about all the risks of something new, you don't think about the difficulties of an adventure, you just keep dreaming, dreaming, dreaming.
Today I found myself starring at the computer thinking about hollywood stars coming to my tiny dark shop where I would sell self-made crazily expensive necklaces. They would be willing to pay a crazy price just for the sake of having my necklace design, no matter how much gold, platin, or diamonds are in it. Well, Tiffany probably started like that. And in that moment my boss entered the office asking "Oh, are you reading the customer's email?".
Sometimes I picture how the life of a writer would be. Pressed and stressed by the need of inspiration, of constant rewriting, perfectioning, the style and the content of the written words. But maybe in a nice cafe in a sunny cute place with a lot of hot milk and chocolate powder, while some gentle breeze avoid you getting too warm and sticking to your paper (or lap top). That reminds me that I don't see the sun since like 10 days. I get out from hom that it is dark, and exit the office that it's dark, and in lunch break it rains. I don't know how people living at the poles can bear months without sunlight. It's making me crazy.
And there I come again: am I actually doing what I want? Did I actually take the right choices? Why did I decide for some way or the other? It was probably the most logical, safe, "best" thing to do. Is it also what I actually want? Or all this will just go against my real way and it's crashing me?
I feel so ... Westerner when I write this. Would a Chinese also at all care about this questions? And what would be his or her answers?
No comments:
Post a Comment