the present organizer

I would like to ask that colleague who joined us briefly at lunch whether he came up with a nice idea for the birthday present for another colleague. A necessary present, apparently, as he told us, "we absolutely need something more than some flowers, she is becoming 40 and she will for sure be depressed, because she has no kids". Silence. One of us shyly whispered, "I don't see that much of special in a 40th birthday, is that so important? We can just organize the flowers...". But no, the answer repeated: "She has no kids, she will get depressed, she needs something more, a nice present or so".
The discussion which begun as soon as he left, disappointed by the idea that he probably had to organize the present by himself, was unbelievably short. Does a woman, to be happy in her life, absolutely have to have kids? Well, the answer was quite simple: "She probably can not have any", as she is married, implicitly, and therefore she could not choose. Choose. Apparently, still a verb that in many cases can not be used by a female subject, or at least not without developing social, ethical, moral, religious concern from whoever is passing by.

But actually, a woman might not choose alone not to have kids. A couple decide so, a man as well, every time he does his half of the job. Why can this not remain a decision of the couple?

A priest once told us that maybe 50 years ago in his little catholic village the father of a new-born kid used to celebrate the birth with friends in the pub for an evening or few days, depending on his economic possibilities. He alone, as the woman was (socially? traditionally?) not allowed to exit the house for the 50 days after having given birth, and in particular she could not go to church but had to spend the time of the mess washing herself at home, washing off her sin.

It is only two generations ago, I should not be surprised by the different importance and decisional power that some people still give to the parents.