Friday, November 16, 2012

Skills for everyone and own limits

I would like to ask why it is so difficult to accept that we are not good at doing something. I am sure that everyone has some qualities and skills, but I can also imagine that everyone is not able to do everything. Even if he wants to learn everything, he might just not be able to. It is maybe what most people call "untalented".

I think that this can be seen in little as well as in important matters. Everyone can think of a friend that, no matter how detailed a recipe is, will not manage to bake good cakes.
I was talking to a friend yesterday. She told me that her boyfriend is thinking to quit his PhD for the third time and maybe begin a forth one somewhere else. Well, I understand that there are conditions where it is hard to work, no matter how genius or skilled you are. But, a PhD is also not necessarily something that everyone can do - it would also not be that honorific or that peculiar, if everyone would have one. So I wonder, if you already stopped almost three times, why do you keep telling yourself that the world (i.e. your professor, your group, the town, the people, the research) are guilty and bad, and not that maybe you are just not meant for it?
I admire somehow, though, that he has the constance of believing in himself and giving himself another chances. At the same time, I think it is sad to never accept what you can and what you can't do. Not having perception of the own limits can't be good in life. And always believing to be able to do what you want only because other people can do it does not necessarily make you a nice person or a better man.
At the end, what matters? To be a doctorate person who took 10 years to get his title and just go straight for whatever goal he wants to achieve? Or to be a human being with the most beautiful meaning of these words, with the acceptance of the own peculiarities, as wel as other's gifts?
Are we focusing on the abilities of the single (or maybe only his money, or his power), or trying to enjoy and accept and use in the optimal way different abilities, even if some are socially at the moment more highly valued than others? 

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