I would like to ask whether it does not seem strange that people have difficulties to meet new people in our time. I have talked in these days to two unrelated friends, both moved a couple of years ago to a new town in different countries because of work opportunities.
One has told me, she does not know with whom she could go drinking a coffee after two years leaving there. Her work colleagues are nice, but very busy with family and hobbies and do not meet after work. She goes to the gym and also there people just go for exercising and not to have a chat. She went to a language course and was quite close for a while with other foreigners, but they eventually moved or got busy. Most people she meets already have a circle of friends, either because they grow up in town and still have contact to school mates, or because they are very religious and belong to some church association, or some particular club. All these types of friendships are quite close to new entries if you do not share a similar background. So, she was thinking about starting to use the internet, but she never did because she does not trust it. She is thinking about changing hobbies and maybe find someone in a situation similar to hers.
Similar story for my other friend, a guy with multinational background, fluent in three languages and always surrounded by girls - at least I remember him so. He had to convince me he was not lying, for the first time in a while he is single for longer than six months. He just does not meet enough ladies to find an interesting one. He joked, saying that maybe he got old and picky, but we both know it is not true. It is just, again, that people are already equipped with a sufficient amount of friends and connections that they do not need any further. Social contacts also need time, care, effort. There is no possibility for someone new, with even the additional risk that it might represent a culture and background that we do not know and that might make the relationship more challenging than a standard one. It is just as if everyone is happy in the own world of years-long consolidated friendships and habits and does not need to look around it anymore.
Maybe we are all getting spoiled, or lazy. We just try to survive our stressful jobs and we appreciate the placidity of known and old social relationships. But we should pay attention that this way of living does not prevent us to keep learning, listening, be open, pay attention to what happens around. Until then we might move and suddenly be away from the known world and people, and be astonished discovering how many other realities there are, ways of living, opinions, traditions. And we will recognize how difficult and sad it might be, sitting alone in a cafe with a cup of coffee.
Why do we need to live the experience on ourselves in order to understand others' needs, perspective, point of view?
One has told me, she does not know with whom she could go drinking a coffee after two years leaving there. Her work colleagues are nice, but very busy with family and hobbies and do not meet after work. She goes to the gym and also there people just go for exercising and not to have a chat. She went to a language course and was quite close for a while with other foreigners, but they eventually moved or got busy. Most people she meets already have a circle of friends, either because they grow up in town and still have contact to school mates, or because they are very religious and belong to some church association, or some particular club. All these types of friendships are quite close to new entries if you do not share a similar background. So, she was thinking about starting to use the internet, but she never did because she does not trust it. She is thinking about changing hobbies and maybe find someone in a situation similar to hers.
Similar story for my other friend, a guy with multinational background, fluent in three languages and always surrounded by girls - at least I remember him so. He had to convince me he was not lying, for the first time in a while he is single for longer than six months. He just does not meet enough ladies to find an interesting one. He joked, saying that maybe he got old and picky, but we both know it is not true. It is just, again, that people are already equipped with a sufficient amount of friends and connections that they do not need any further. Social contacts also need time, care, effort. There is no possibility for someone new, with even the additional risk that it might represent a culture and background that we do not know and that might make the relationship more challenging than a standard one. It is just as if everyone is happy in the own world of years-long consolidated friendships and habits and does not need to look around it anymore.
Maybe we are all getting spoiled, or lazy. We just try to survive our stressful jobs and we appreciate the placidity of known and old social relationships. But we should pay attention that this way of living does not prevent us to keep learning, listening, be open, pay attention to what happens around. Until then we might move and suddenly be away from the known world and people, and be astonished discovering how many other realities there are, ways of living, opinions, traditions. And we will recognize how difficult and sad it might be, sitting alone in a cafe with a cup of coffee.
Why do we need to live the experience on ourselves in order to understand others' needs, perspective, point of view?
No comments:
Post a Comment