I would like to ask why, in many occasions, people do not say clearly what they think. And, if it is about someone, they do not say it to that person.
There are some cultural causes. When no opinions about people are involved, it can be that we do not want to contradict our boss, or our parents, or our best friends. Or that we do not want to hurt them. Or to be impolite interrupting them. Or because you are younger and not allowed to talk, because elders are always right. Or because you are a woman and not allowed to talk, because woman can not have opinions. Or because you are not an expert, you don't know what happened. Or because.
There are thousands of reasons that would prevent someone to speak out. Also, this is mostly the risky way for hurting people we like, for losing them, for offending them. But, if they trust us, they will trust also our opinions and will be glad we share with them what we are thinking - even if it hurts. So that everyone can work together to improve a relationship, work, or society, and not get decisions imposed by higher hierarchies.
It becomes even more difficult to speak out the opinion of a person to that person. In particular, when we care about him or her. And even more, when we want to tell such person that she made a mistake, that we do not like what she has been doing, or just criticizing something she said. But still, if we really care, that is the only way to let this person grow, understand her mistakes, improve herself, become even better.
And it is difficult, because we are afraid to lose her.
And it is even more difficult to be that person and get criticized by someone who knows us so well, who we know would speak only for our benefit, and who still can see a topic with a more objective perspective than we do, and therefore help us if we are getting too self-centered.
Therefore, people should always speak out. Because if they do not, nothing will ever change, nobody will ever get inputs to improve, and we will all believe we have the best ideas ever, the best solutions ever, and we are the best human being ever existed.
But still, sometimes the person we love and who know us so well and tells us something about us, she can be wrong. It is important to listen to her, and carefully consider what she says, but we do not necessary always have to do what she suggests.
And this is the case when it really hurts. When it feels like not even who is nearest to you understands what you think, why you act like this, what is happening, how you are feeling. And you feel just so unsure and lonely. Appreciating, but lonely.
There are some cultural causes. When no opinions about people are involved, it can be that we do not want to contradict our boss, or our parents, or our best friends. Or that we do not want to hurt them. Or to be impolite interrupting them. Or because you are younger and not allowed to talk, because elders are always right. Or because you are a woman and not allowed to talk, because woman can not have opinions. Or because you are not an expert, you don't know what happened. Or because.
There are thousands of reasons that would prevent someone to speak out. Also, this is mostly the risky way for hurting people we like, for losing them, for offending them. But, if they trust us, they will trust also our opinions and will be glad we share with them what we are thinking - even if it hurts. So that everyone can work together to improve a relationship, work, or society, and not get decisions imposed by higher hierarchies.
It becomes even more difficult to speak out the opinion of a person to that person. In particular, when we care about him or her. And even more, when we want to tell such person that she made a mistake, that we do not like what she has been doing, or just criticizing something she said. But still, if we really care, that is the only way to let this person grow, understand her mistakes, improve herself, become even better.
And it is difficult, because we are afraid to lose her.
And it is even more difficult to be that person and get criticized by someone who knows us so well, who we know would speak only for our benefit, and who still can see a topic with a more objective perspective than we do, and therefore help us if we are getting too self-centered.
Therefore, people should always speak out. Because if they do not, nothing will ever change, nobody will ever get inputs to improve, and we will all believe we have the best ideas ever, the best solutions ever, and we are the best human being ever existed.
But still, sometimes the person we love and who know us so well and tells us something about us, she can be wrong. It is important to listen to her, and carefully consider what she says, but we do not necessary always have to do what she suggests.
And this is the case when it really hurts. When it feels like not even who is nearest to you understands what you think, why you act like this, what is happening, how you are feeling. And you feel just so unsure and lonely. Appreciating, but lonely.
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