I would like to ask why this time it is so hard to move. Since 10 year, I am moving within the same town, or the same country, or somewhere else more often than every two years. So, it is not that I am not used to it. I can't see what is different, this time.
Maybe I am getting old and tired. The last place, where I am now, took me so much energy, that although I like the idea to leave it, I kind of feel like I will not manage to feel home in the next place. Or simply, I am getting used to the things I know, I made so much effort to see the positive aspects of them, that I am now worried, I will need to begin again in the new place to find out what I like and accept what I do not like.
Also, it will be a place not far from where I have already lived before. Like... 600 km away (!). But so far from here, that it seems all the same, and therefore allowing old prejudices from the previous experience, although here people of neighboring villages within few km speak a different dialect and have different traditions. So, who knows. Maybe I am just scared. That time there was ok, but there were some downs and I was happy to leave. This time, many things will be different, but the country... I don't know. I suppose, I should just try and see!
And, it will be necessary to discover again the spot in town where I like sitting for few minutes looking at the street or at the plants, or create again a bit of atmosphere in my kitchen where I can eat and cook without feeling pressure, and make again the living room in a way where I feel cosy and warm and ideal for working, reading, hobbying...
Above all, it will be another place where I live and where I am a foreigner. Hopefully, as there will be many more foreigners than here now, this feeling of being different will be muffled. Although not all foreigners are like me and everyone carries a different story and background, and probably feels different in a different way.
I have been pretty good at making my home wherever I have been. It is home when I have with me few things I am carrying around since a while, and when I know my way in the town. Someone tells me that I am too attached to things, that they are just things, they do not mean anything. True, possibly. But to me, those objects are strongly connected to what happened with them, to stories they have heard while laying around, to occasions they have been bought or received for present, to events when I used them. I suppose I have a much worse memory than most of other people so that I need such reminders, or I just want to remember much more than the average guy.
But this is actually not a problem: I will bring those objects with me, I hope they will not get broken, and I will make my new home... Hopefully it will not take too long, and I will not have homesickness of a home which does not exist.
Maybe I am getting old and tired. The last place, where I am now, took me so much energy, that although I like the idea to leave it, I kind of feel like I will not manage to feel home in the next place. Or simply, I am getting used to the things I know, I made so much effort to see the positive aspects of them, that I am now worried, I will need to begin again in the new place to find out what I like and accept what I do not like.
Also, it will be a place not far from where I have already lived before. Like... 600 km away (!). But so far from here, that it seems all the same, and therefore allowing old prejudices from the previous experience, although here people of neighboring villages within few km speak a different dialect and have different traditions. So, who knows. Maybe I am just scared. That time there was ok, but there were some downs and I was happy to leave. This time, many things will be different, but the country... I don't know. I suppose, I should just try and see!
And, it will be necessary to discover again the spot in town where I like sitting for few minutes looking at the street or at the plants, or create again a bit of atmosphere in my kitchen where I can eat and cook without feeling pressure, and make again the living room in a way where I feel cosy and warm and ideal for working, reading, hobbying...
Above all, it will be another place where I live and where I am a foreigner. Hopefully, as there will be many more foreigners than here now, this feeling of being different will be muffled. Although not all foreigners are like me and everyone carries a different story and background, and probably feels different in a different way.
I have been pretty good at making my home wherever I have been. It is home when I have with me few things I am carrying around since a while, and when I know my way in the town. Someone tells me that I am too attached to things, that they are just things, they do not mean anything. True, possibly. But to me, those objects are strongly connected to what happened with them, to stories they have heard while laying around, to occasions they have been bought or received for present, to events when I used them. I suppose I have a much worse memory than most of other people so that I need such reminders, or I just want to remember much more than the average guy.
But this is actually not a problem: I will bring those objects with me, I hope they will not get broken, and I will make my new home... Hopefully it will not take too long, and I will not have homesickness of a home which does not exist.
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